New York Mets Script - Collective Fans

New York Mets Call up Zack Wheeler

With Matt Harvey already blazing his exciting trail through his first full year in the big leagues, the Metropolitans have decided that now is the time, for blue chip prospect Zack Wheeler.  According to MLB.com, Wheeler is the 8th best prospect in baseball.  Considering that the Mets have very few bright spots (Harvey, David Wright) in an otherwise…

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Miami Big 3 Coming Up Small

Game 3 goes to the San Antonio spurs in blowout fashion.  Lebron looks frozen (scared).  Wade is hurt (I guess).  Bosh is just horrendous.  We’re only three games in, yes.  But it looks like a long offseason is in the works, for the King of South Beach and his crew.

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Lebron James: Shaken and Stirred

Game 1 goes to the Spurs in Miami.  The San Antonio Spurs have taken Lebron James out of his comfort zone, and it has affected his King-ness in the worst way.  James has seemingly reverted back to his deer-in-the-headlights, pre-2011 self.  You remember that Lebron, right?  The guy that would bumble and stumble his way…

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Sergio Garcia is a racist punk

Sergio Garcia continues to dig the hole deeper…  as is the group of PGA officials that are trying to come to Sergio’s defense.  Little advice for ol’ Fuzzy, er, Sergio:  the phrase “no comment” will work wonders for you.  And as for the PGA, time to suspend Garcia and the idiotic Euro tour CEO that is tried to…

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Yanks Keep Winning and Joe Girardi is a Genius

Don’t look now, baseball fans.  But the New York Baseball Yankees are the toast of the town babyyyyyyyy.  Now that the Knicks got flushed out of the playoffs, anyway.  Joey Baseball aka Hardy Girardi is getting his team to play .636 baseball (second best record in the bigs) with a roster full of has-beens and…

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Justin Tuck Firewalking His Way to Another Ring

Watch out NFL, Justin Tuck is walks through flames, baby!  JT went to see Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker aka life coach aka coal-stoker aka rich dude aka banana hands.  Tuck underperformed last season (now has 9 combined sacks in two years) and his post game news conferences always felt like he was over doing the philosophical-isms…

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Filomena Tobias Middle Finger to Joakim Noah

The middle finger salute has earned Filomena Tobias some publicity – she’s become a web sensation overnight due to her performance during game 2 of the Miami Heat vs Chicago Bulls series.  Tobias is the widow of former CNBC commentator Seth Tobias.  And she clearly hates Joakim Noah (or she was just drunk).

Ottawa Senators Log

Senators move on to next round

The Ottawa Senators won their first round series against the Montreal Canadians tonight, 4 games to 1, with a 5-1 victory. The higher seeded, and heavily favored, Sens didn’t have too much trouble the inter-country rival. Left winger Cory Conacher paced the Senators with 2 goals tonight, and that was enough to overcome the weak shooting Canadians.…